Answers
by lurv2boogie
Summary: When James doesn't return to Gryffindor Tower for the night, Lily isn't worried. This happens at least twice a month. But when he's still missing the next morning, Lily goes searching and ends up with more answers than she bargained for. Twoshot, LJ.
1. Lost

**Disclaimer: Don't own HP, or the characters, blah blah blah. You guys know the drill by now, right?**

**Dedication : **Pour mon amour, parce que le monde a semblé vide jusqu'à ce que vous l'ayez rempli. And for Charlie, who set me a challenge and unwittingly gave me the idea.

* * *

Seated lazily on the armchair in the Head Boy and Girl's tower on a Saturday evening, Lily Evans was staring absently into the fire opposite her. She rarely got time to herself, or indeed took it, and while she knew she had a hundred different things that needed to be done before Monday, she couldn't summon the strength to get up from her position. It was foolish, to procrastinate like that, and it wasn't like her at all, but no amount of self-admonition was going to make her lift herself from the armchair and get to work. Despite the visibly growing light outside, she reassured herself that everything could be done a little later. For now, all she wanted was this moment of peace.

The private tower she lived in, discreetly connected to the Gryffindor Common Room by a password-protected corridor, she shared with Gryffindor's Head Boy, James Potter. Admittedly, he wasn't the worst choice for the job – far from it, in fact – but his presence inevitably led to chaos. James himself wasn't really a fan of silence, Lily mused with a smile, and so even though she only lived with one other person it was as though she lived with a million other people. A million other dark haired, hazel-eyed, optically-challenged people, who all had a peculiar way of making her smile when she was miserable, of helping her let go of her fears when she thought it impossible.

But tonight, as it was every few nights a month, James was missing. She had no idea where he went, or what he was doing, but she supposed it wasn't really her place to know anyway, so she tried to not think too much of it. Her relationship with James had improved ten-fold during the past few months that they had been living together, and to tell the truth she was enjoying the contentment between them. While it had been awkward between them in previous years (James' continual offers to take her to dinner had frustrated Lily to no end), it was curious that putting the two of them in a position where they practically lived out of each other's pockets created an air of ease.

He was still incessantly asking her to dinner, of course, but Lily was finding it harder and harder to refuse him when he had changed so much for her. He had been arrogant, and ignorant, and flippant, and dozens of other adjectives ending in '-_ant_', but this year he had changed so much of himself in such a short amount of time that it left her in little doubt how much he wanted her. She suspected (though if she was honest with herself, she would say that she _knew_) that he hadn't changed himself as such, but rather uncovered aspects of his personality that were already there. He had just needed to search to find them again. And, again, she suspected that he was worried that showing her the way he really was would make him vulnerable, and so hid it. Ironic, that he was hiding from her the very thing that she was looking for, without even meaning to.

Glancing absently towards the window, she was shocked to find that the sun had risen. It was probably going on five in the morning. Stretching, Lily gathered her books that lay unread on the table in front of her, and begrudgingly made her way to her door on the opposite side of the room. She didn't realise how tired she was until she reached her bed, and didn't even bother to change her clothes before collapsing onto the mass of pillows.

---

_The wind whipped past her face as she ran, moving so fast that her surroundings blurred. She couldn't see where she was going, didn't know where she was, didn't know _who_ she was – only that she had to keep running. Running and running and running, because there was no other option. _

_Suddenly there was a scream. Abruptly, she stopped, and her surroundings came into focus again. She studied the trees around her with confusion, and she moved closer towards the trees, taking small steps and held out a hesitant hand to touch the bark. Closer, closer, she moved, hand still reaching out, and suddenly the air was filled with such screaming that she had to hold her hands over her ears to make the terrible sound stop. She couldn't understand how a voice could hold so much pain, so much anguish, and as she thought, the trees suddenly disappeared and she was surrounded by black. _

_More screaming. _

_And before she had time to properly process what had happened, a body appeared before her in the darkness, lying, bleeding, unmoving. She stepped forward, unsure if this person was okay, if this person was _living.

_And when James Potter's face came into full view, torn and bloody, she took a moment to process what she was seeing before she realised she was screaming and screaming and screaming, and with a sudden jolt realised that the person screaming had been her the whole time. _

---

Someone was shaking her awake, and it took a moment for Lily to realise that she was sitting bolt upright.

"_Merlin_, Lily, are you alright?"

She realised that she had been crying in her sleep. She pushed the hands that were gripping her arms away from her and wiped her face. It didn't feel like James' grip, and she desperately wanted to know who was in her bedroom, but she couldn't see. Lily forced herself to relax, and as her muscles became less tense her eyelids flickered open, and she saw Remus Lupin sitting on the bed next to her, alarm written across his face. She wondered wildly how he got into the Head's tower in the first place, before realising with some embarrassment that James and Lily had given him the password.

"I came into the tower, and you were screaming…" Remus trailed off quietly, looking to Lily to fill in the gaps.

"Nightmare," she said, and it was enough. Remus looked at her for a moment more, and opened his mouth to say something, but Lily beat him to it. "Where's James?" she asked, looking around. She suddenly realised that he was nowhere to be seen.

Remus stared at her guiltily. "I was hoping you could tell me."

Lily stared blankly back at him for a moment. "What do you mean, you were hoping-"

"We thought he'd come back here last night. But he didn't. Lily, we all came back to the castle last night," Remus said, looking panicked and miserable, "and no one's seen him since."

"How is that possible? What the hell were you doing?"

"It doesn't matter now. We just… we need to find him. Please," Remus looked pleadingly at Lily with such honesty that she knew she would do whatever he asked her to. "Please, help us."

"Of course I will," Lily said quietly, and Remus nodded slowly before giving Lily a wearied smile of thanks as he left the room.

"Oh, Potter," Lily said to herself when she knew Remus was out of earshot. "What have you done?"

---

She left the Head's tower alone after she got dressed, bemused by Remus' strange behaviour. Usually he would wait for her and escort her out of the tower just to act out the role of the gentlemen, but today he had left without telling her, and so she walked down the corridor to the Common Room by herself. When she stepped out into the Common Room, she looked over towards the window and saw Remus standing with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. The four of them (James, Remus, Sirius and Peter) went around with each other as a gang of troublemakers, pranksters and vandals. Good natured enough, Lily supposed, but didn't have the same regard for school rules as most other students, for sure.

As Lily approached them, she caught the last snippet of their conversation.

"… well if he's not showing up on the map we'll have to fix it," Remus was saying. Lily paused before reaching over and tapping him gently on the shoulder. He jumped at the contact, and swung around to see who it was. "Oh, Lily. We were just about to search the grounds. Would you take the area near Hagrid's cabin?" As Lily nodded, he added, "We'll all meet up back here in forty-five minutes."

Lily nodded again, and with an inclination of the head to acknowledge Peter and Sirius, she turned towards the Portrait Passage and left the Common Room, heading towards Hagrid's cabin. She knew the area well, having taken Care of Magical Creatures class for four years, which was, she suspected, the reason she was asked to scour this area. No one else really wanted to go near the Forbidden Forest, but for some reason it didn't frighten her. She supposed she felt a certain affinity with the animals in the forest. They were mostly portrayed as wild and untameable, but she doubted that they would actually do her much harm if she simply respected them. That was the source of the problem that most wizards have with rare magical creatures – they had no respect for how dangerous they could be.

She walked resolutely up to Hagrid's front door and knocked loudly. Hagrid answered the door, smiling happily down at her.

"Miss Evans! This is a bit o' a surprise! What're you doin' 'ere?"

"I was looking for Potter. We've got some rounds to do upstairs but he disappeared as soon as he found out." Lily lied. Better to pass this off as a light matter of no real importance than something more serious. She didn't know exactly what was going on, but had a feeling that the boys wouldn't appreciate it if they had teachers running around the grounds looking as well.

"Nah, I'm sorry, but 'e 'asn't been down 'ere today. I'll tell 'im you're lookin' for 'im if I see 'im."

"Oh, right," Lily said, disappointed. She was sure Hagrid would know where James was. After all, the cabin was overlooking the Quidditch pitch. "Well, thanks anyway."

Hagrid waved goodbye cheerily and closed the door, leaving Lily alone with her thoughts. Where would he be? She spun on her heels, and took a walk along the outskirts of the forest, listening to the rustling of the leaves and briefly contemplating what creatures might have been watching her at that very moment. Lily continued along the side of the forest, taking in the sights. Tree… bush… leaves… grass… paw…. hand… Butterfly… another bush—

Wait.

She walked backwards, moving towards where she could have sworn she saw a flash of pale skin. Sure enough, curiously, there it was again. A hand, unmistakably. And, as hands often are, it was attached to an arm, which was attached to a shoulder, which was attached to a neck, which was attached to James Potter's head.

Oh God.


	2. Found

**Disclaimer: Once again, I am not JKR. Unfortunately.**

**Dedication: To all those who've read and/or reviewed. Thanks a bunch, you guys make all the work worthwhile :)**

**A/N: Okay, so here's part two of Answers. (Watch out... it's a _Shameless Plug Alert_) ...By the way, keep an eye out for a new fic I've got coming out, hopefully within the next week, about James' feeble attempts to write Lily a love letter. Gotta love those crazy kids! Anyway, hope you guys enjoy! Please R&R, even if you're only gonna say 'it's good' or 'it needs work'. **

**Happy reading. **

* * *

Lily stared at James' unconscious body for a second, suddenly completely at a loss as to what to do. She saw the way that his arm was folded in a strange position, probably broken, and when she turned him over his face was covered in familiar looking cuts. Images of his body from her dream flew to her mind, and she desperately fought the urge to throw up. All of a sudden, her seemingly forgotten senses kicked in, and she fumbled for her wand, pulling it from her pocket as quickly as she could. Holding it just above his chest, she said, "_Enervate_", and to her overwhelming relief his eyes flew open. Abandoning all composure, she knelt beside him as he lay at the edge of the forest, and cried. 

James looked up at her, worry etched across his face, and reached up with his broken arm to try and touch her face, wincing terribly when the pain kicked in.

"Oh, Merlin," Lily said through her tears, "You shouldn't move that arm, I think it's broken…"

"It's okay, it's okay. Madame Pomfrey can fix it in a second." James said, trying to smile, but looking so pained that a fresh wave of tears burst from Lily's eyes.

"What on earth happened here, Potter? God, you're bleeding."

"I am?" James asked, confused, and Lily motioned towards her face. James put a hand up to the wounds that covered his cheeks and forehead, and brought the hand back down to see the blood that had covered his fingers.

"I can close the wounds for you for now," Lily said as she muttered a spell under her breath. "But they won't stay closed. Can you walk?"

James responded by trying to get up. He held onto Lily's arm for support, but stumbled as he tried moving a few steps forward. He smiled weakly.

"Barely."

Lily nodded as she stashed her wand back in her pocket.

"It's going to be alright, James." She said, and there was a pause.

"I know."

---

"I'm so sorry, Prongs."

Lily, Sirius, Peter and Remus were all seated around James' bed, and Remus had not stopped apologising since he had arrived.

"It's okay, Moony."

"No, it's not. God, I'm so, so sorry."

Lily had no idea what Remus was apologising for, but the other two were looking solemn, so she decided that she shouldn't ask. It wasn't her business.

"Look, Moony, it wasn't _you_. You've got to realise that."

At this, Lily looked up. It didn't make sense. How could it have been Remus? He wouldn't hurt a fly, let alone his best friend of six years. He just didn't have it in him. She looked questioningly at Sirius, and when Sirius locked eyes with her, he jumped as though he'd just realised she was there and motioned subtly to James, who looked over at her as well, and with a small nod of the head the conversation was suddenly over. They were obviously keeping something from her, and as much as she told herself that it wasn't her business, it didn't stop her from asking.

"What's going on?"

Her question was met with silence, and all four boys avoided looking at her. She sat there, feeling remarkably uncomfortable, until Remus spoke up.

"What do you think, Marauders?"

James looked sharply up at Remus, his face contorted into an expression of puzzlement.

"Are you sure, Moony?"

"What other choice do we have?" Sirius replied, despite the fact that the question was posed to Remus, and the four boys looked up at her.

"Moony, it's not our place to tell her. If you think you can, you should." Peter said, and James and Sirius nodded in agreement. Remus nodded slowly as well, and looked down at his fingers as he began to speak.

"Lily, you must have noticed that the four of us go missing for a few nights every month. It's because…" Remus faltered, and then tried again. "Do you know about Animagi?"

"Wizards who can turn into an animal," she said slowly, nodding.

"In our fifth year, we became unregistered Animagi."

"What?" Lily said, completely shocked. "How? _Why_?"

"James, Sirius and Peter became Animagi," Remus said, gesturing towards them, "because they found out about me. So that they could help me."

"Help you? With what?" Lily suddenly sensed that what she was about to discover was something huge. Something completely unexpected. Something terrible. Remus sighed before speaking again, and once again averted his eyes.

"I'm a werewolf."

Suddenly, it all made sense. The monthly disappearances, the strange, pale and ill-looking complexion. And the other three couldn't become werewolves if they weren't humans when they were bitten…

"Remus," Lily said, and then changed her mind about what she was going to say. "How long have you… have… has it been like this?"

"Since I was a kid. Before Hogwarts."

"I'm so sorry, Remus," Lily said, reaching forward to envelop him in a hug. "God, it must be awful for you." Remus pulled away from the hug.

"You're not scared? Or angry?"

"No."

"Not even a little bit?" Remus asked, nervously playing with his sleeves. At this, Lily smiled.

"Not in the slightest. I'm glad you told me. And," she said, looking at all of the boys now, "you can trust me not to tell anyone. I won't."

"I didn't think you would." Remus told her, and looked so sincere that Lily had no choice but to believe him.

---

"Guess what?"

James had been in the Hospital Wing for four days now, and Lily had rarely left his side, much to Madame Pomfrey's dismay. She'd happily stolen food off his plate, and jokingly teased him about being a 'no-good layabout'. He'd laughed along with her, much to her relief – she was determined to help him recover.

"What?" Lily replied, looking up the latest issue of Witch-Weekly that she'd been reading.

"It's my last day here." James said, and grinned.

"So it is. So now you can stop sitting on your ass all day and get some real work done!"

James narrowed his eyes playfully.

"If I could be bothered, I'd come over there and hit you."

"Would you now?" Lily asked mockingly, and reached over to tickle him. He laughed, trying to fight her off, and as she got closer to him, he suddenly stopped and pulled her closer so that his lips came into contact with hers. The two kissed gently, and James hand came up to Lily's face, reaching behind her head and deepening the kiss by supporting her under her head, on the curve of her neck. Suddenly realising what was happening, Lily broke away from James' grasp and fled back to her chair, looking down at her fingers.

"Lily?" James said, uncertain. What had happened? "Are you-"

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters, Lils," James said softly. "Of course it does. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, alright?"

"Lily…"

"James, really. Don't… don't even think about saying anything. I _know_ you see it, and it's just better if you ignore it," Lily took a deep breath. "We both know I'm not okay."

James looked at her, shocked.

"What do you mean?"

"Just leave it, alright?"

"Lily, how am I supposed to-"

"I don't care! I don't care how you do it, or what you do. You overstepped a boundary, James, just when we were getting along, just when everything was _perfect_-"

"What? Where's this coming from? I thought-"

"You thought wrong, James."

"So why don't you want to…?" James asked her, and when Lily responded, she spoke so quietly that James was scarcely sure she'd said anything at all.

"Because I'm scared."

She knew she was being ridiculous. What a thing to say, that she was scared. What, of him? Of being with him? But as she looked up at him, he seemed to know exactly what she was talking about.

"Why?" he asked gently.

"I don't know… I don't know."

There was a pause.

"You don't have to be afraid, Lily. You never have to be afraid when I'm with you."

And instantly, she remembered that he had a way of helping her let go of her fears when she thought it impossible. Looking up at him again, she was filled with fear, but it didn't seem as important anymore, and when she kissed him again, the fear dissipated as quickly as it had come.

Apparently, as Lily would come to learn, nothing was impossible to let go of.

Except love.


End file.
